My Schedule.
5am- Wake Up
5:05am- Bathe
5:20am-Change to Uni
5-30am Fix hair
5:45am- Quickly pack school bag
6am- Slack
6:30am-Go bus stop
7:00++am: Reach Sch Bus stop
7:05am- Meet Boyf
7:20-Reach School
8am-1pm ?- School
2pm-8pm- Boyf house<3
9pm- Home
11pm-Sleep?
Wednesday, 28 December 2011
Tuesday, 27 December 2011
My life so far.
Hai ^^ okay. This past few days has been crazy. I had a crush on this guy who only treats me like his close friend. Heeh, i wasn't cheating, i was only crushing. It was only for a few days. And, he know ( i hope ) that i only love him. And only him. Okay, so he found out. Through twitter. He was like heartbroken urh. He then told 2 ppl. And he then he put it through his status. I mean like, he shouldn't have. No offence, but...he should have thought about it. And, i repeat, i wasn't cheating. Me and him didn't kiss or anything. he has no feelings for me. I was just crushing. Okay, it was still wrong. But, i didn't leave him. Haish, so it became a big fight. Almost losing him again. He asked me for break, i just said " Go ahead, if you want, then so be it lorh " but deep inside me i didnt want to our r/s to end. But, in the end like aft a hour of crying. We were okay. Actually, we didn't break. I still love him▲
Monday, 26 December 2011
Missing Him
| It would have been 3 years come March 6, that I began dating the love of my life. I was 17,and so was he. Things moved really fast between us. We had moved in together 3 months into our relationship. Life together was different but fun. September past, he moved to begin an aprentise program for mechanic, I decided to stay which did not last long, I missed hime to much, shortly after I moved with him. A little over a month ago, we broke up for good, playing house is not easy, in fact very hard at our age. I moved home, now feeling like it was the worst mistake of my life. He met other people and so did I, the difference is all I wanted was him. I could not spend much time with other guys for I always find myself comparing them to him, if I keep doing that I will never find anyone who is good enough for me!! I love him with all my heart and soul, I miss him deeply, I still believe that there is a chance for us so I will not give up. Like they say Stranger things have happened! This is for every girl or guy who is still in love but feels that the love has died. There is always a second chance, if you truly love, don't give up! |
The BreakUp
Boy: Baby, we need to talk.
Girl: Ricardo, what do u mean?
Boy: Something has come up...
Girl: What? What's wrong? Is it bad?
Boy: I don't want to hurt you, baby.
Girl: *Thinks* Oh my God, I hope he doesnt break up with me... I love him so much.
Boy: Baby, are you there??
Girl: Yeah, I'm here. What is so important??
Boy: I'm not sure if I should say it..
Girl: Well, you already brought it up, so please just tell me.
Boy: I'm leaving...
Girl: Baby, what are u talking about?? I don't want you to leave me, I love you.
Boy: Not like that, I mean I'm moving far away.
Girl: Why? All of your famliy lives over here.
Boy: Well, my father is sending me away to a boarding school far away.
Girl: I can't believe this.
[FATHER: (Picks up the other phone, interrupts & yells furiously
ERICA!, what did I tell you about talking to boys?!!!... Get off the
damn phone!! (And hangs up).]
Boy: Wow, your father sounds really mad.
Girl: You know how he gets, but anyways, I dont want you to go.
Boy: Would you run away with me?
Girl: Baby, you know I would, I would do anything for you, but I
can't... You don't know what would happen if I did. My dad would kill me!
Boy: *Sad* It's okay.. I understand, I guess..
Girl: *Thinking*I can't believe what's going on.
Boy: I need to give you something tonite, because I am leaving on
flight 1-80 in the morning, so I need to see you now.
Girl: Okay, I will sneak out & meet you at the park.
Boy: Okay, I'll meet you there in 20 minutes.
[They meet at a nearby park, they both hug eachother. And he gives
her a note.]
Boy: Here you go, this is for you. I gotta go.
Girl: *Tear* (Begins to cry.)
Boy: Baby, dont cry, you know I love you... But I have to go.
Girl: Okay (Begins to walk away.)
[They both go back home. And Erica begins to read the letter he gave her]
It says...
"Erica,
You probably already know that I'm leaving, I knew this would be better if I wrote a letter explaining the truth about how much I care about you. The truth is, is that I never loved you, I hated you so much, you are my bitch and dont you ever forget that. I never cared about you, and never wanted to talk to you, and be around you. You really have no clue how much I hate you. Now that I'm leaving I thought you should know that I hate you, bitch. You never did the right thing, and you were never there. I didnt think I could hate someone as much as I hate you. And I never want to see you, for the rest of my life, I will never miss kissing you like before, I never want to cuddle up, how we used to. I will not miss you and that's a promise. You never had my love, and I want you to remember that. Bitch, you keep this letter because this may be the last thing you have from me. Fuck, I hate you so much. I will not talk to you soon bitch... Goodbye.
- Ricardo"
[ Erica begins to cry, she throws the paper in tha garbage & crys for hours ]
... A day passes, she is sad, depressed and she feels so lonely... Then she gets a phone call....
Friend: How are you feeling?
Girl: I just cant believe this happened.. I thought he loved me.
Friend: Oh, about that. Ricardo left me a message. A few days ago. He told me to tell you to look in your jacket pocket or something...
Girl: Umm.. okay.
[She finds a piece of paper in the jacket,
It says:
"Baby I hope you find this before you read my letter. I knew your dad might read it, so I switched a few words...
Hate = Love
Never = Always
Bitch = Baby
Will not= will
.... I hope you didn't take that seriously because I love you with all my heart, and it was so hard to let you go thats why I wanted you to run away with me... -Ricardo"]
Girl: Oh my God! It's a letter.. Ricardo does love me!!, he must of slipped it into my pocket when he hugged me. I can't believe how stupid I am!!
Friend: lol Okay but I g2g... Call me later.
Girl: *happy*okay, bye, I'll be at home waiting for my baby to call me!
... Erica turns the T.V. on......
[Breaking news] "An airplane has crashed. Over 47 young boys died, we are still searching for survivors... This is a tragedy we will never forget, this plane was flight 1-80... it was on its way to an all boys boarding school..." the Reporter says.
[ She turns off the t.v. ... 3 days later, she kills herself, because of the fact that Ricardo was dead & she had nothing to live for... ]
... A day after that the phone rings. Nobody answers. It was Ricardo, he called to leave a message. "Its Ricardo, I guess you're not home so, I called to let you know that I'm alive, I missed my flight because I had to see you one last time. So, I hope your not worried. I am staying for good.
Tuesday, 20 December 2011
While you were gone.
Well, i miss your lips on mine. Those warm soft lips. I missed hugging you whenever i feel like it. I missed all those " Choocheepoo" and "bhygirls" I missed being with you. But, right now, you're overseas. All i can do is fb chat with you. But, the thing is that, whenever your online, the next minute later, you have to go ofline. I mean can't you stay abit longer ? I've missed you so much. Whenever you go offline, i would cry. Yeah, i miss you baby. Come back soon okay ?
Iloveyou.
Iloveyou.
Sunday, 18 December 2011
Please Don't Lie To Me Again
This touching sad short love story is amazing. Sometimes we lie to the ones we love because we are afraid to tell people of our feelings for them. How often has this happened to you? Well, read this touching sad short love story and perhaps you might find the courage to let people know of your feelings.
Tenchi looked at the face of a girl whom he had been with for a long time. She was his childhood friend. She was lying on the hospital bed, unconcious. As Tenchi looked at her, love and sadness can be seen in his eyes. Worried that something bad might happen to her. "Yuki, please wake up." the words that he kept repeating in his mind, over and over again.
"Hey cheer up now. What's the matter?" A young boy wearing a blue baseball cap told his friend, looking at her, who was crying. "I'm fine." A little girl gave the same boy a fake smile. "Ahh, something's wrong, I knew it. Yuki tell me." He insisted. But the little girl just gave him a smile, "nothing."
A girl waited under a waiting shed, it was raining too hard. Everything was dark. "Yuki!" The girl heard her name. Left, right, it was her friend, Tenchi. The boy hurried to see her, he ran to the waiting shed quickly, with his uniform, dripping wet. But as soon as he got there, acted as if she didn't even hear his voice, nor knew him for who he was. "We need to talk..." He said trying to catch some air. "I thought I told you to leave me alonE!" The girl shouted as she turned her back at him. "Yuki, I can't do that!" Tenchi answered. Yuki started walking away, she had her clothes wet by the time she set her feet out of the waiting shed.
"Hey, listen ok. Look I know that I made the wrong choice about telling you that I...love you....but...please, cant we just...have what we had before? FRIENDSHIP!?" Tenchi continued. Yuki stopped walking, "Look!" she turned around and faced him, "All I ask is for you to leave me alone! I'm sick and tired of this game. It can't be. You can't love a girl like me." She yelled, tears came falling from her eyes. Tenchi made his way to his friend and threw his arms around her, "I just love you!...Why can't we be together?" He was crying. "LET GO!" Yuki pushed him, and Tenchi felt pain on his right cheek, she slapped him. "Can't you understand me? I don't like the way you treat me anymore, I'm not special. You just can't love me as someone else? I hate you!" Her voice was beginning to break up, she was crying real hard, but the rain could cover it. Yuki turned her back at Tenchi and ran away.
Tenchi wanted to go after her but all he could do was watch her as she goes farther and farther. As Yuki reached the sidewalk near her house, she felt pain on her left chest, her heart was aching. She couldn't breath. She placed her hand just at the place of her heart and tried to massage her chest, "It's ok, Nikk. You can do it...just a few steps and...Ughr" She took a deep breath and started walking again, slowly, but her knees felt weak, she can't move anymore and that caused her to fall on the ground. Her sister got out the house eventually and helped her to stand up.
Tenchi looked at the face of a girl whom he had been with for a long time. She was his childhood friend. She was lying on the hospital bed, unconcious. As Tenchi looked at her, love and sadness can be seen in his eyes. Worried that something bad might happen to her. "Yuki, please wake up." the words that he kept repeating in his mind, over and over again.
"Hey cheer up now. What's the matter?" A young boy wearing a blue baseball cap told his friend, looking at her, who was crying. "I'm fine." A little girl gave the same boy a fake smile. "Ahh, something's wrong, I knew it. Yuki tell me." He insisted. But the little girl just gave him a smile, "nothing."
A girl waited under a waiting shed, it was raining too hard. Everything was dark. "Yuki!" The girl heard her name. Left, right, it was her friend, Tenchi. The boy hurried to see her, he ran to the waiting shed quickly, with his uniform, dripping wet. But as soon as he got there, acted as if she didn't even hear his voice, nor knew him for who he was. "We need to talk..." He said trying to catch some air. "I thought I told you to leave me alonE!" The girl shouted as she turned her back at him. "Yuki, I can't do that!" Tenchi answered. Yuki started walking away, she had her clothes wet by the time she set her feet out of the waiting shed.
"Hey, listen ok. Look I know that I made the wrong choice about telling you that I...love you....but...please, cant we just...have what we had before? FRIENDSHIP!?" Tenchi continued. Yuki stopped walking, "Look!" she turned around and faced him, "All I ask is for you to leave me alone! I'm sick and tired of this game. It can't be. You can't love a girl like me." She yelled, tears came falling from her eyes. Tenchi made his way to his friend and threw his arms around her, "I just love you!...Why can't we be together?" He was crying. "LET GO!" Yuki pushed him, and Tenchi felt pain on his right cheek, she slapped him. "Can't you understand me? I don't like the way you treat me anymore, I'm not special. You just can't love me as someone else? I hate you!" Her voice was beginning to break up, she was crying real hard, but the rain could cover it. Yuki turned her back at Tenchi and ran away.
Tenchi wanted to go after her but all he could do was watch her as she goes farther and farther. As Yuki reached the sidewalk near her house, she felt pain on her left chest, her heart was aching. She couldn't breath. She placed her hand just at the place of her heart and tried to massage her chest, "It's ok, Nikk. You can do it...just a few steps and...Ughr" She took a deep breath and started walking again, slowly, but her knees felt weak, she can't move anymore and that caused her to fall on the ground. Her sister got out the house eventually and helped her to stand up.
Tenchi took a deep breath and made his way to the wash room to wash the vase. There was silence. Even his loud breathing could be heard...As Tenchi went out the room, he went to the table near Yuki's bed and took the boquet of roses. "Tenchi," He heard a soft voice calling him. Tenchi turned to his right and found Yuki, awake. "Tenchi, What are u doin here?." she said. Her voice was softer than before. Her friend smiled, "I...came here to...see you.." He replied. "Tenchi...I..." She felt so much pain on her chest again.
Monday, 12 December 2011
My new baby cousin
AHHHH ! I finally saw my baby cousin today. She's fucking cute ! She has big innocent eyes, she's chubby and CUTE. She's like the cutest baby i've seen !
Today, i fell in love all over again.
I suddenly have the feeling that i'm in love again. But, it's stronger.
I have a feeling that, there's going to be alot more less problems. No more crying, no more almost breaking up. No more fighting. But i don't know. It's just a feeling. But, i keep thinking that it's true.
But, no matter what happens. I would never break up with you. Even though, there were times i wanted to break up, give up on you. I didn't. I hope you know..how much i love you. How much you mean to me. But, i guess it takes two hand to clap. Basically, if i want a heart to heart talk with him, he gotta agree. No Anythings no up to me. He has to make the decision too.
#NoAnythingNoUpToMe.
I have a feeling that, there's going to be alot more less problems. No more crying, no more almost breaking up. No more fighting. But i don't know. It's just a feeling. But, i keep thinking that it's true.
But, no matter what happens. I would never break up with you. Even though, there were times i wanted to break up, give up on you. I didn't. I hope you know..how much i love you. How much you mean to me. But, i guess it takes two hand to clap. Basically, if i want a heart to heart talk with him, he gotta agree. No Anythings no up to me. He has to make the decision too.
#NoAnythingNoUpToMe.
Sunday, 11 December 2011
Okay, i tried.
I thought that having a heart to heart talk with him, would actually, work. Making our relationship better. Honestly, i thought that everything would be settled. But, not actually. Haish, it's like honestly. He wasn't trying. I asked him, then he said anything. ANYTHING. Haish, no offense, but. Anything ? I don't make the decisions for you. And, you said, my answer would just make me angry -.- but at least it's better than ANYTHING right ?
Anyways, we talked. For only a few minutes. We talked about fighting over small things. About, that time when we fought because of his game -.- yes, i don't understand, because i'm a fucking girl, and i SUCK at video games. I SUCK AT EVERYTHING. But, we almost broke up because of that. Anyway, we continued, i wanted to say more, but, it's going to make everything worse. So i just kept quiet. I didn't want to argue anymore. I really gotten tired of fighting over the smallest things. We fought about ; taking an off day during work, just because he's lazy to report for work. Xbox game. Me not wanting to go to his cousin birthday party. A fucking test (idw give ans) Anything under the blue. I mean like honestly, doesn't he think it's time to say what's on our minds. Still can answer anything ? Haish, if only he said yes or no -.-
I wanted to say more things. But, the way he acted, it's like he wasn't interested with the talk. I still remember last time, when we had the talk it was like we settled everything. And, it was different. Then, i just stopped. The talk didn't do anything. I'm really trying the best i can to make our relationship better. Honestly, i'm trying the hardest i can. But, it just ends up me crying almost every night. Because, in the end, trying to make everything better, we would just fight.
I'm tired of this. I'm tired of fighting. Sometimes i just want to give up. I just want to die.
I'm sick and tired of crying.
Anyways, we talked. For only a few minutes. We talked about fighting over small things. About, that time when we fought because of his game -.- yes, i don't understand, because i'm a fucking girl, and i SUCK at video games. I SUCK AT EVERYTHING. But, we almost broke up because of that. Anyway, we continued, i wanted to say more, but, it's going to make everything worse. So i just kept quiet. I didn't want to argue anymore. I really gotten tired of fighting over the smallest things. We fought about ; taking an off day during work, just because he's lazy to report for work. Xbox game. Me not wanting to go to his cousin birthday party. A fucking test (idw give ans) Anything under the blue. I mean like honestly, doesn't he think it's time to say what's on our minds. Still can answer anything ? Haish, if only he said yes or no -.-
I wanted to say more things. But, the way he acted, it's like he wasn't interested with the talk. I still remember last time, when we had the talk it was like we settled everything. And, it was different. Then, i just stopped. The talk didn't do anything. I'm really trying the best i can to make our relationship better. Honestly, i'm trying the hardest i can. But, it just ends up me crying almost every night. Because, in the end, trying to make everything better, we would just fight.
I'm tired of this. I'm tired of fighting. Sometimes i just want to give up. I just want to die.
I'm sick and tired of crying.
Saturday, 10 December 2011
Heeh.
I knew this was going to happen soon.
My heart would ache sooner or later because of all this.
I really wish that we could really just stop fighting. Especially over small things. But, my heart is literally aching.
I don't want tears anymore. I don't walking away.
I want us to be happy.
My heart would ache sooner or later because of all this.
I really wish that we could really just stop fighting. Especially over small things. But, my heart is literally aching.
I don't want tears anymore. I don't walking away.
I want us to be happy.
):
Today, was fucked up.
It was all because of your cousin birthday party and because of my need of sleep we fought.
Basically, i was planning to spend my Saturday sleeping. Because, of my lack of sleep. But, got his cousin birthday party. I really don't want to go. But, he kept forcing me. Even if he's not trying. He would just force me. Which made me kept changing my mind. He said i was selfish. Because, i didn't want to go because i need my sleep. Honestly, i need my sleep. My sleep is not enough. Because of work. Then, because, of one fucking small thing, we fought. I mean like honestly ? We shouldn't fight for one fucking small thing. I got angry, because, of this. I was tired of fighting over fucking small things. Honestly, i almost gave up. But i didn't. I didn't want to. By then, i was already fucking pissed. Because, of this. I was literary fucking sick of fighting. Over small things. And when i said, i would go. Because, that's the only thing that settles everything. But, he said nevermind, forget i asked. I wanted to just shout " I SAID I'M GOING WITH YOU BUT YOU DON'T WANT ?! WTF ?! " but i just stormed of instead. I was really fucking pissed. The point where i wanted to kill someone.
This morning we also fought. I was sunddenly moody. But actually, i wasn't. I was actually angry that you just ignore otp earlier. I cooling off. Then, you said i was moody, i didn't talk to you. But, honestly, i tried to...make a convo. But, i tried, but in the end, It failed. I tapped you, you gave me the " What Lah -.- " face. And i didn't bother making a convo.
Friday, 9 December 2011
#RandomShytzxc
[: Fake Smile
^^ Act Cute
:B Cheeky
/: Fucking sad/ sad
(: Smile !
My random smiles :B
^^ Act Cute
:B Cheeky
/: Fucking sad/ sad
(: Smile !
My random smiles :B
Thursday, 8 December 2011
I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding
All those times you made me angry.
All those times when you made cry like hell.
All those times when you broke my heart.
All those times when you nearly broke up with me.
All those times when you made jealous.
All those times when you ignored me.
Heeh, no matter what you did, i would still love you.
Call me old fashion.
I like long hand written love letters. It's nice and sweet. Heeh, that was last time. You would write sweet letters. You said " i wrote this because, i want to express how much i love you everyday. " But now, you don't. Honestly, i miss those times. But those times changed. Haish, yes, it did. Now, it's like instead of those love letters or long sweet SMSes, it's heart breaking SMSes.
I shouldn't have...i know. I'm abit bossy. But i'm changing, for you. And, i'm trying to bring the old times back. Like, we would always talk on the phone 24/7 but now, we just keep quiet. And when i try to have a convo, you won't be interested, or didn't hear anything at all. Honestly, I'm trying to make the old times come back. Maybe you don't realize it. But, i'm doing my best. Yesterday, i wanted to write a letter to you. But, i guess you might think i'm being...i don't know. Heeh. But instead, i just wrote here, in my blog. I asked you to see it, and you didn't say anything.
[:
I shouldn't have...i know. I'm abit bossy. But i'm changing, for you. And, i'm trying to bring the old times back. Like, we would always talk on the phone 24/7 but now, we just keep quiet. And when i try to have a convo, you won't be interested, or didn't hear anything at all. Honestly, I'm trying to make the old times come back. Maybe you don't realize it. But, i'm doing my best. Yesterday, i wanted to write a letter to you. But, i guess you might think i'm being...i don't know. Heeh. But instead, i just wrote here, in my blog. I asked you to see it, and you didn't say anything.
[:
Hai.
Dear BhyBoii.
I miss those long love SMSes that you would send me. I also miss those love letters that you would send me, it's cute and sweet. Even the random notes. I miss the times that we would always be happy, no fights no almost-breaking-up no tears no heartbreaks no almost-breaking-up SMSes. I want those times back. I'm sorry, about all those time i made you sad. When you cried like fuck. I'm sorry for making you cry, i really am. I'm sorry i can't be there for you when you cry like fuck. I really wished i was. I would hug you ever so tightly, and just saying ( trying not to cry ) " Bhy, it's alright. I'm here. And i'm not going anywhere. " I'm sorry, for those fights we had. I know, i can really be a bitch sometimes. But, you should know, how i'm like. I'm sorry for being a fucking jealous girlf. But i'm like this because, i love too much, and i don't want you to leave me. Bhy, i can't make this jealousy go away. I can't, it will always come back. But, thanks for accepting it. I'm sorry for accusing you of wrong stuffs and blaming you. Sometimes i can be abit, you know. Sometimes, i don't like it when you talk about other girls to me. Honestly, i don' care. But, i'm just listening. I would never ever leave you. I can' bear the pain. Honestly, i can't if you would leave me. Bu you're not going to leave me are you ? I don't know. Remember the ring ? Remember the words you said to me ? In a few years time, we would get married ? I hope you remembered. Because i did. I will never forget that. And thanks for being there for me. All the ups and downs. Even though, when you said that you're no there for me, sometimes, you're always here for me. Always. You do know that, no matter, your always there for me, even when you don't try. You said that, i only know 80% about there. I'm sorry, i known you so well. And i was thinking that i still know you 100% but, no matter what, i'm going to understand you better 110% I'm sorry that i keep my feelings bottled up. I mean like, before i knew you. I would always keep my feelings bottled up. I kept thinking that no one actually cares. But when i met you, i told you most of my feelings. And i even told you my deepest darkest secret. And you still accepted me. I even know your secrets, but i still accepted you. Because i know, you wouldn't do it again. Bhy, i would never walk away from you. Never. I hope you won't too. I just love you that much. I would cherish this r/s and your the only guy that i ever truly love. No one else. No one can replace you in heart. You replaced someone in my heart. And that guy was a fucking heartless bastard.
Love you forever,
Bhygirl.
Tuesday, 6 December 2011
I did something stupid yesterday.
Yesterday i was so pissed off at him yesterday. When he smsed me that " to him, i'm nothing " I totally lost it. I was actually on the way home. I was going to the bus stop.Then i saw that message. I got angry. At the same time, i wanted to break down. So instead of going home. I just walked, i smsed my other friend that i'm just walking. Then he got worried, at that time, i don't know how HE was feeling. At that time, i was thinking of running away. I wanted to. But when HE smsed me to go home or i was no longer his, basically his threating to break up. I didn't want to risk it. So instead, i just waited for my bus at the nearest bus stop. Then, my friend called me. He asked if i was i was going home. And i said, yes, i am. He didn't believe me. Then i proved him that i was in the bus. Then i hanged up. I sat at the back. And beside me was this couple. So loving. Then a couple of malay guys sat beside me. I was already starting to cry. Tears kept streaming down my face. I really couldn't just stop it. I then recieved another message from him. He said that i caused him too much scars in his heart. Then how about me ? You did it to me too. And another message saying that i was his " friend, nothing more nothing less. " i was thinking, he broken up with me. I started crying. I headed for the nearest stairs to cry. Cry it all out. But at that time, i did'nt have enough tears.
But, he called me. We were talking, he didn't actually break with me. And finally he said, i love you.
Sunday, 4 December 2011
Yes. It's still there.
Yes, i'm still jealous.
I'm still jealous whenever you look at girls.
I'm still jealous whenever a girl who you like last time or a girl who likes you sms you
I'm still jealous whenever you talk about other girls
I still get jealous whenever you say that another girl is cute
I still get jealous whenever you mention your crushes last time, or girls who likes you.
Yes, i'm still jealous /:
I'm still jealous whenever you look at girls.
I'm still jealous whenever a girl who you like last time or a girl who likes you sms you
I'm still jealous whenever you talk about other girls
I still get jealous whenever you say that another girl is cute
I still get jealous whenever you mention your crushes last time, or girls who likes you.
Yes, i'm still jealous /:
Saturday, 3 December 2011
BabyBoii.
Yes, you deserve me.
Stop saying that i don't deserve you.
It's quite useless actually, saying that. I love you, and NO ONE else. And you deserve me.
Your the only guy i ever loved. Your the only guy who know what i've been through. Your the only guy who replaced someone else in my heart. I hope that i'm the only girl you ever truly loved. I hope i'm the girl who knows and understands what you've gone through. i hope i replaced someone else in you heart.
I hope i made you change for the better.
Friday, 2 December 2011
Honestly.
Today was really fucked-up.
It started with him punching his parents. Honestly, i don't like people punching their parents.
I really get fucking pissed. I told him he should'nt have done that. Because it's just fucking wrong.
Then it lead to fight and tears. I cried in public. And nobody was there for me. I got no one to turn to. I just wanted to get of the bus and never returned. I wanted to see if they actually cared. Cause, at that time, i felt totally left out. He was talking to my friend, and i was just there listening. Like i was invisible or something. Like i didn't exist. A few days ago, i was like being disturb by my friend, he was spitting ice. And that time, i didn't got the mood to be disturb. And i was looking at my boyf if he notice at all and if he would do anything. But he didn't. Instead, he just continued talking to my friend. Like NOTHING actually happen.
I was totally sad, and i started to become like all quiet. I just kept drinking my iced passionfruit. I kept looking down, i did'nt want hi to look into my eyes, and i will start to cry.
Then, he started to act all emo. He said, he doesn't understand girls. Does he understand me ? Because i'm a girl. And he just wanted to give up. At that moment, my heart just avhe and tears just started to fall. I just ran away. I hid in the stairs, hoping someone will start looking for me. And when someone found me, he would see my cry and just stand there hugging my tight. But, unfortunately, i didn't happen. I just stood there, waiting. Waiting for someone to come and find me. But no one came. I went out, and i saw him and my friend walking away. Like they didn't notice that i was actually gone or that they didn't care at all. I wanted to walk another way, but my friend saw me. And on the bus, on the way to work. It was like he was fucking pissed at me. Because, i gave him too much problems. Yes, i'm always the one starting the problems. It's always my fault. I'm totally fucked-up. He was like totally angry at me, and my friend told me to apologise to him. Most of the times, i'm always the first one to apologize after every fight, followed by him. Because it's my fault. It's true, i'm the girl with issues, and i get jealous easily. I'm totally fucked-up. I'm the one who always give headaches. After saying sorry to him in the bus, we were okay. But, today, same thing happen again. But it was like kind of worse.
He kept ignoring me, and my friend and him we're messaging about me, something bad. And inside, i was just crying. I was crying in the inside. I was biting my teeth so hard because if not, i would have just broke down. My heart literally ached. It hurt. Then, when i received one of his sad messages, i totally broke down in the bus. I just wanted to runaway, runaway from all this. Nobody, cared. i think, nobody even saw me cry. Nobody heard my cry. I was all alone. Blasting music was helping trying to calm down. Blasting sad songs. My boyf then shifted to another seat, because he was angry, at me. He wanted to give up. He always say that. It always stabs my heart a couple of million times. I never got this heartbroken. I would always cry every night when reading your messages when we fight. It's how heartbreaking it is.
It started with him punching his parents. Honestly, i don't like people punching their parents.
I really get fucking pissed. I told him he should'nt have done that. Because it's just fucking wrong.
Then it lead to fight and tears. I cried in public. And nobody was there for me. I got no one to turn to. I just wanted to get of the bus and never returned. I wanted to see if they actually cared. Cause, at that time, i felt totally left out. He was talking to my friend, and i was just there listening. Like i was invisible or something. Like i didn't exist. A few days ago, i was like being disturb by my friend, he was spitting ice. And that time, i didn't got the mood to be disturb. And i was looking at my boyf if he notice at all and if he would do anything. But he didn't. Instead, he just continued talking to my friend. Like NOTHING actually happen.
I was totally sad, and i started to become like all quiet. I just kept drinking my iced passionfruit. I kept looking down, i did'nt want hi to look into my eyes, and i will start to cry.
Then, he started to act all emo. He said, he doesn't understand girls. Does he understand me ? Because i'm a girl. And he just wanted to give up. At that moment, my heart just avhe and tears just started to fall. I just ran away. I hid in the stairs, hoping someone will start looking for me. And when someone found me, he would see my cry and just stand there hugging my tight. But, unfortunately, i didn't happen. I just stood there, waiting. Waiting for someone to come and find me. But no one came. I went out, and i saw him and my friend walking away. Like they didn't notice that i was actually gone or that they didn't care at all. I wanted to walk another way, but my friend saw me. And on the bus, on the way to work. It was like he was fucking pissed at me. Because, i gave him too much problems. Yes, i'm always the one starting the problems. It's always my fault. I'm totally fucked-up. He was like totally angry at me, and my friend told me to apologise to him. Most of the times, i'm always the first one to apologize after every fight, followed by him. Because it's my fault. It's true, i'm the girl with issues, and i get jealous easily. I'm totally fucked-up. I'm the one who always give headaches. After saying sorry to him in the bus, we were okay. But, today, same thing happen again. But it was like kind of worse.
He kept ignoring me, and my friend and him we're messaging about me, something bad. And inside, i was just crying. I was crying in the inside. I was biting my teeth so hard because if not, i would have just broke down. My heart literally ached. It hurt. Then, when i received one of his sad messages, i totally broke down in the bus. I just wanted to runaway, runaway from all this. Nobody, cared. i think, nobody even saw me cry. Nobody heard my cry. I was all alone. Blasting music was helping trying to calm down. Blasting sad songs. My boyf then shifted to another seat, because he was angry, at me. He wanted to give up. He always say that. It always stabs my heart a couple of million times. I never got this heartbroken. I would always cry every night when reading your messages when we fight. It's how heartbreaking it is.
Wednesday, 30 November 2011
Don't you ever thought about it ?
Have you ever wondered, what the things you said, might be insulting to me ?
If you don't know, girls have feelings too. They do take note of what you say. And if you say something insulting, it's going to stay in her mind.
The songs i recommend, the movies i want to watch, it's like, to you, they suck.
I'm sorry, but i wanted you to know /:
Don't get angry okay ? <3
If you don't know, girls have feelings too. They do take note of what you say. And if you say something insulting, it's going to stay in her mind.
The songs i recommend, the movies i want to watch, it's like, to you, they suck.
I'm sorry, but i wanted you to know /:
Don't get angry okay ? <3
Monday, 28 November 2011
#311211
I'm going to the new year's countdown with him.
And that's the first time i put on makeup, a dress. For this kind of occasion. I'm starting feel like a girl.
But i'm doing this for him.
I can't wait ^^
And that's the first time i put on makeup, a dress. For this kind of occasion. I'm starting feel like a girl.
But i'm doing this for him.
I can't wait ^^
ILoveYou.
Baby,
i'm sorry for what i did. Or say to hurt you.
I didn't know that you will actually go inside you. I didn't because on the outside, it's like your so tough.
It's like you really didn't care. But after the fights we had. All the things i said to make you cry. I realize, inside, your aren't tough.
I accused you so many times, for so many things, you didn't care. I shouted at you, i slapped you. But no matter what i did, you still loved me.
When we weren't together last time, you helped with my break-ups you were there for me. You were the one that actually cared. You were the only one who understands me. You were the only one who still loves me after every fight, after every thing i do. You were the one who cheered me up when i'm down. Making me smile after every fight.
You were always there for me, no matter what.
Every fight we had, i always wanted to break up with you. But i didn't. I didn't want to give up on us.
I just want to say thank you. For loving me no matter what i did.
i'm sorry for what i did. Or say to hurt you.
I didn't know that you will actually go inside you. I didn't because on the outside, it's like your so tough.
It's like you really didn't care. But after the fights we had. All the things i said to make you cry. I realize, inside, your aren't tough.
I accused you so many times, for so many things, you didn't care. I shouted at you, i slapped you. But no matter what i did, you still loved me.
When we weren't together last time, you helped with my break-ups you were there for me. You were the one that actually cared. You were the only one who understands me. You were the only one who still loves me after every fight, after every thing i do. You were the one who cheered me up when i'm down. Making me smile after every fight.
You were always there for me, no matter what.
Every fight we had, i always wanted to break up with you. But i didn't. I didn't want to give up on us.
I just want to say thank you. For loving me no matter what i did.
Sunday, 27 November 2011
The Man Who Can't be Moved.
Once there lived a guy call Robert. He was living in luxury, money and lust. He sleeps with different women every night. He was a bachelor. And after every night, he would go to the park. The park was a special place to him. When he was young, his parents would take him to the park, to see the beautiful pink blossoms. He went to his favourite spot, at the far end of the park, where it's all nice and quiet. But when he went there, there was a lady siting at his spot. The lady was wearing a velvet red coat, and her hair was so sliky and it was shining in the moonlight. Robert was mesmerized by her looks. Like he was in love with her, even though he doesnt know her.
He went towards her and sat beside her. Both looking at the moon. the women, she looked at Robert. Then she looked away. Robert, he finally broke the ice " This was my favorite spot. I would always come here because it was always so nice and quiet. nobody to see me here. It's like my own world. " The women then said " Me and My Lover, we would always come here, we would always sit by this seat and just enjoy the moon. But now, i just come here alone " Robert waas heartbroken, the women had already a lover. But then she continued " but one day, My lover stopped seeing me. He was actually married. He had children and his life was a joy. He just loved his family more than me. "
Robert then said " I'm a rich guy, i sleep with different girls every night. I live in lust. but honestly, i didn't really want to do this. But it's already a habit for me. Once i start a habit, i can't stop. "
For the first time, their eyes met, it lasted for awhile. And finally, the women looked at the watch
" I got to go, call me " she wrote down her number and passed it to him.
That night, Robert kept looking at the piece of paper that the women gave with her number. He wasn't concerted with his partner. He kept thinking what to say to her. But he didn't even know her name.
After much thought, he finally called her.
" Hello ? "
" Hello ? This is the guy from the park. I was wondering if you would come over my place for dinner tomorrow at 7pm ? "
" Yes sure, i'm free tomorrow, but may i ask, where do you live ? "
" the big house at the end of 5th ave. "
" Okay, see you tomorrow then ! "
Robert then started preparing for tomorrow's night dinner. Even late at night, he still prepared for tomorrow. He was excited and nervous at the same time. He prepared the finest dishes in the world, and tomorrow he will cook them. He then started to arrange the tables, One table and two chairs. He sprinkled the pink blossom's petals around the floor. He made the table. It looked like a 5 star resturuant in his own home.
Finally, it was 7 pm. He was at his backyard. Just siting there waiting for her. Then he finally saw her. She crossed the road. But, there was this sport car. She was on the road, lying motionless, with blood oozing out. The owner of the sports car called the ambulance. Robert was on his knees, next to her dead body. Crying.
" For the first time, i actually, fell in love " He said. Then RObert say her purse, there was a letter for him. He opened it and read it:
Dear Robert,
Don't you remembered me ? When we were in high school, we would always go to the park, at the far end of it, and just sit there, we would talk about our future. The kids we have and the big house we would live in. We were in love. You were the bachelor of our school and i was the school nerd, nobody wants me, but you, you made me wanted. As time passed, our love grew. But one day, you fell for another girl. She was better than me, in appearence and personality. Eventually, we became strangers.
Time passed, i heard you are a very successful man. With tons of girls who admire you. But have you ever though about me ? When we were high school sweet hearts ?
I wasn't so lucky, i fell with the wrong man, everyday, everynight, he would come home drunk and beat me up just for fun. I wasn't living in a big luxurous house, but i was living in a smalled cluttred appartment.
And one more thing, i didn't forget you.
Love,
Annabelle.
Robert remembered her. He remembered the times when he was actually in love.
He broke down and cried.
He went towards her and sat beside her. Both looking at the moon. the women, she looked at Robert. Then she looked away. Robert, he finally broke the ice " This was my favorite spot. I would always come here because it was always so nice and quiet. nobody to see me here. It's like my own world. " The women then said " Me and My Lover, we would always come here, we would always sit by this seat and just enjoy the moon. But now, i just come here alone " Robert waas heartbroken, the women had already a lover. But then she continued " but one day, My lover stopped seeing me. He was actually married. He had children and his life was a joy. He just loved his family more than me. "
Robert then said " I'm a rich guy, i sleep with different girls every night. I live in lust. but honestly, i didn't really want to do this. But it's already a habit for me. Once i start a habit, i can't stop. "
For the first time, their eyes met, it lasted for awhile. And finally, the women looked at the watch
" I got to go, call me " she wrote down her number and passed it to him.
That night, Robert kept looking at the piece of paper that the women gave with her number. He wasn't concerted with his partner. He kept thinking what to say to her. But he didn't even know her name.
After much thought, he finally called her.
" Hello ? "
" Hello ? This is the guy from the park. I was wondering if you would come over my place for dinner tomorrow at 7pm ? "
" Yes sure, i'm free tomorrow, but may i ask, where do you live ? "
" the big house at the end of 5th ave. "
" Okay, see you tomorrow then ! "
Robert then started preparing for tomorrow's night dinner. Even late at night, he still prepared for tomorrow. He was excited and nervous at the same time. He prepared the finest dishes in the world, and tomorrow he will cook them. He then started to arrange the tables, One table and two chairs. He sprinkled the pink blossom's petals around the floor. He made the table. It looked like a 5 star resturuant in his own home.
Finally, it was 7 pm. He was at his backyard. Just siting there waiting for her. Then he finally saw her. She crossed the road. But, there was this sport car. She was on the road, lying motionless, with blood oozing out. The owner of the sports car called the ambulance. Robert was on his knees, next to her dead body. Crying.
" For the first time, i actually, fell in love " He said. Then RObert say her purse, there was a letter for him. He opened it and read it:
Dear Robert,
Don't you remembered me ? When we were in high school, we would always go to the park, at the far end of it, and just sit there, we would talk about our future. The kids we have and the big house we would live in. We were in love. You were the bachelor of our school and i was the school nerd, nobody wants me, but you, you made me wanted. As time passed, our love grew. But one day, you fell for another girl. She was better than me, in appearence and personality. Eventually, we became strangers.
Time passed, i heard you are a very successful man. With tons of girls who admire you. But have you ever though about me ? When we were high school sweet hearts ?
I wasn't so lucky, i fell with the wrong man, everyday, everynight, he would come home drunk and beat me up just for fun. I wasn't living in a big luxurous house, but i was living in a smalled cluttred appartment.
And one more thing, i didn't forget you.
Love,
Annabelle.
Robert remembered her. He remembered the times when he was actually in love.
He broke down and cried.
#CrazyStupidLove
One day, im going to get married to te guy of my dreams.
I would wear wear this beautiful white dress, with a long sparkly veil coming down from my beautifully tied up hair. And he will wear his black tuxedo. I always wanted to get married on the beach. It's an awesome place to get married in. With the smell of the sea and the sound of the sea. It's just amazing. And the seats are all like for beaches. Red roses are sprinkled all around the floor. The bridesmaid wearing beautiful sundresses ( still looking good for weddings ) but the bridesman wears white tuxedos. The wedding will be held when the sun sets, and when it's all nice, cooling and dark, candles will be lit up all around the wedding venue.
And when we have our honeymoon, we'll travel the world. Travel to Japan, USA, etc. I'll be going around the world with you. And when we reached back home, our home is waiting for us. The 2 storey bunglow, with our own backyard. And with a nice view. We'll have children. Have fun raising them up till their able to fend for themselves. And we'll grow old together.
I would wear wear this beautiful white dress, with a long sparkly veil coming down from my beautifully tied up hair. And he will wear his black tuxedo. I always wanted to get married on the beach. It's an awesome place to get married in. With the smell of the sea and the sound of the sea. It's just amazing. And the seats are all like for beaches. Red roses are sprinkled all around the floor. The bridesmaid wearing beautiful sundresses ( still looking good for weddings ) but the bridesman wears white tuxedos. The wedding will be held when the sun sets, and when it's all nice, cooling and dark, candles will be lit up all around the wedding venue.
And when we have our honeymoon, we'll travel the world. Travel to Japan, USA, etc. I'll be going around the world with you. And when we reached back home, our home is waiting for us. The 2 storey bunglow, with our own backyard. And with a nice view. We'll have children. Have fun raising them up till their able to fend for themselves. And we'll grow old together.
Saturday, 26 November 2011
STFU -.-
Come on, we're just a normal couple.
Yeah, i know he used to be a flirt. He used to play with girl hearts. But now he changed.
He's a changed man.
He's no longer that guy anymore. Yeah, i know " Once a flirt always a flirt " that aint true.
It really doesn't apply to ALL boys. He aint a flirt anymore. He sticks to one girl.
People, want to say bad things about us ah ? I tell you horh, GET A LIFE. Don't you have anything better to do than criticizing who's in a r/s with who ? If people would do that to you and your girlf/boyf wouldn't you feel the same way ?
You don't really know him, who are you to judge him ?
Friday, 25 November 2011
Baby.
I can't just help wondering that some Secondary One girl next year is going to treat you better than i treated you.
I know you'll say it won't. But what if it happens ?
Baby, i just don't want any girl to take you away and play with your heart.
I'm just scared.
I just can't help it but to go crazy when some girl stares at you like she's going to be yours.
Yes, i'm a crazy girlfriend. But, i just love my boyfriend too much.
" 'Cause there'll be no sunlight If I lose you, baby "
Im sorry baby.
I'm sorry for treating you so cold.
I shouldn't have treated you so badly. I shouldn't have said those bad stuff to you.
I didn't really mean it. I was just angry.
You know, sometimes, you really can piss me off.
Until i just randomly blurt it out.
But baby, you know, no matter what happens, no matter what you do, I Will Still Love You.
No matter what. You know why ? Because, your my One and Only.
You said, that sometimes you think that i'm not your one and only, but to me you are.
You say that i'm not showing that i really love you. Because, i don't know how to show my love to you.
Because, my love for you is just that amazing, that its cannot be expressed.
I'm never going to leave you.
I love you.
I'm sorry for treating you so cold.
I shouldn't have treated you so badly. I shouldn't have said those bad stuff to you.
I didn't really mean it. I was just angry.
You know, sometimes, you really can piss me off.
Until i just randomly blurt it out.
But baby, you know, no matter what happens, no matter what you do, I Will Still Love You.
No matter what. You know why ? Because, your my One and Only.
You said, that sometimes you think that i'm not your one and only, but to me you are.
You say that i'm not showing that i really love you. Because, i don't know how to show my love to you.
Because, my love for you is just that amazing, that its cannot be expressed.
I'm never going to leave you.
I love you.
Tuesday, 22 November 2011
Grandmother.
My grandmother think she Can do anything she wants.
Everything I do is all wrong.
Just now, she scolded me because I put her " WASHED " clothes to a pail. She didn't even washed it. Because she didn't put soap ( there wasn't any soap at all ) she should have think before she put it inside right ? USE YOUR BRAIN -.-
Also, she saw my boyf outside my place. Then She screamed who's there. She cannot mind her own business. she asked me who was that I say, I dint see anyone. Then she scream like one dog. Then she SLAMMED the door in the morning. Then I totally lost it. I just screamed at her to shut up. And slammed the door at her face.
Then she bang the door from inside 0.o
Then when I reach home , she wrote me a letter which I can't even understand. It said something about me finding a boyfriend after my studies because I cannot cope. God will be watching ! -.- EVERYTHING ABOUT GOD AH ?!
Who says I can't cope ? I can.
She's just jealous nobody wants her dog face.
Also, she said my school is bad. You want to know why ? Because, my school doesn't teach about god --"
Stupid or dumb, she thinks that Singapore only has one religion -.-
She thinks she was " sent from god " to fix things -.-
I think she's crazy.
I wish she go back philipines lah. Nobody wants you in SG --
Everything I do is all wrong.
Just now, she scolded me because I put her " WASHED " clothes to a pail. She didn't even washed it. Because she didn't put soap ( there wasn't any soap at all ) she should have think before she put it inside right ? USE YOUR BRAIN -.-
Also, she saw my boyf outside my place. Then She screamed who's there. She cannot mind her own business. she asked me who was that I say, I dint see anyone. Then she scream like one dog. Then she SLAMMED the door in the morning. Then I totally lost it. I just screamed at her to shut up. And slammed the door at her face.
Then she bang the door from inside 0.o
Then when I reach home , she wrote me a letter which I can't even understand. It said something about me finding a boyfriend after my studies because I cannot cope. God will be watching ! -.- EVERYTHING ABOUT GOD AH ?!
Who says I can't cope ? I can.
She's just jealous nobody wants her dog face.
Also, she said my school is bad. You want to know why ? Because, my school doesn't teach about god --"
Stupid or dumb, she thinks that Singapore only has one religion -.-
She thinks she was " sent from god " to fix things -.-
I think she's crazy.
I wish she go back philipines lah. Nobody wants you in SG --
Monday, 21 November 2011
Today -.-
I had another fight, it was about my primary school friend when I assume that she likes my boyf.
He messaged one if my best friends, and its like he doesn't really care if I get jealous anymore. It's like he give up on me. Well, I thought that he wanted to break again. But it wasn't he wanted to hive up on my jealousy.
But the thing that really made me angry was when he said " You have to face the fact that I'm cute and girls like me " at that time I thought he was possessed, because that doesn't sound like at him at all. Okay, fine , I won't do anything if girls out there fall for you okay ? I know alot of girls like you, but you don't need to rub it in right ? Yeah I know, if the same thing happen to you, you won't mind. Because, it won't happen. so what happens when a guy ask me for stead ? Yeah, I know that you'll say I won't accept. But what IF ?
Sometimes, I wish we could exchange lives for a day. See what I'm going through. And I could see what you're going through.
I hope you didn't give up on me.
I hope you knew how I felt when you say " you have to face the fact that I'm cute and girls like me "
-.-
He messaged one if my best friends, and its like he doesn't really care if I get jealous anymore. It's like he give up on me. Well, I thought that he wanted to break again. But it wasn't he wanted to hive up on my jealousy.
But the thing that really made me angry was when he said " You have to face the fact that I'm cute and girls like me " at that time I thought he was possessed, because that doesn't sound like at him at all. Okay, fine , I won't do anything if girls out there fall for you okay ? I know alot of girls like you, but you don't need to rub it in right ? Yeah I know, if the same thing happen to you, you won't mind. Because, it won't happen. so what happens when a guy ask me for stead ? Yeah, I know that you'll say I won't accept. But what IF ?
Sometimes, I wish we could exchange lives for a day. See what I'm going through. And I could see what you're going through.
I hope you didn't give up on me.
I hope you knew how I felt when you say " you have to face the fact that I'm cute and girls like me "
-.-
Stupid girl.
Okay, there's this girl who i really don't like.
When she met my boyfriend, she said he was CUTE infront of me. Then, she kept staring at him with that dreamy look ! I was like really pissed off.
But the worst part was, he said she was CUTE too ! That really made me go crazy.
You know even though your my friend since primary three doesnt mean you can do all this to my boyfriend right ?
I know that you like guys like my guy but he is already taken right ?
Get a life and like someone who IS NOT TAKEN
When she met my boyfriend, she said he was CUTE infront of me. Then, she kept staring at him with that dreamy look ! I was like really pissed off.
But the worst part was, he said she was CUTE too ! That really made me go crazy.
You know even though your my friend since primary three doesnt mean you can do all this to my boyfriend right ?
I know that you like guys like my guy but he is already taken right ?
Get a life and like someone who IS NOT TAKEN
Stupid.
Warning ; This post has alot of vulgarities. Please excuse this because the owner is just scolding him. Tyvm (:
STUPID BLOODY FUCKER -.-
Theres this guy in my school he really got no life one. He commented on he's DP in FB that he got no life. WHO THE FUCK ASK HIM TO COMMENT IN THE FIRST PLACE !
That fuckd up guy is the one who has no life one. At least Devon got life find girlfriend. But he leh ?! No one wants him, because his face is just really, fucked up.
Then on my status, he still got the face to scold me ! Chibai -.- then my friends and Devon all go scold him also. Chibai, stupid fucking asshole. Jealous people got girlfriend he don't have. The face looks like a fucked up monkey lorh.
Only know how to talk crap only.
No life fucker -.-
STUPID BLOODY FUCKER -.-
Theres this guy in my school he really got no life one. He commented on he's DP in FB that he got no life. WHO THE FUCK ASK HIM TO COMMENT IN THE FIRST PLACE !
That fuckd up guy is the one who has no life one. At least Devon got life find girlfriend. But he leh ?! No one wants him, because his face is just really, fucked up.
Then on my status, he still got the face to scold me ! Chibai -.- then my friends and Devon all go scold him also. Chibai, stupid fucking asshole. Jealous people got girlfriend he don't have. The face looks like a fucked up monkey lorh.
Only know how to talk crap only.
No life fucker -.-
Sunday, 20 November 2011
My dream.
My dream is to marry you.
Yeah I know it's quite corny to say it. Because I'm only 13 but I'm being serious here, I want to marry you when I grow up.
But really, I love you so much and I love no one else. I can't wait to wear a beautiful white dress and walking down the aisle to marry you. It sounds so perfect inside my head. I can imagine it, me and you, Mr and Mrs. Having kids which is mixed with British, Chinese and Filipino. Wouldn't that be awesome ? And us retiring together ? Spending all the happy and sad and sour times together , getting through it all together. No one tearing us apart.
I just can't wait to marry you.
Yeah I know it's quite corny to say it. Because I'm only 13 but I'm being serious here, I want to marry you when I grow up.
But really, I love you so much and I love no one else. I can't wait to wear a beautiful white dress and walking down the aisle to marry you. It sounds so perfect inside my head. I can imagine it, me and you, Mr and Mrs. Having kids which is mixed with British, Chinese and Filipino. Wouldn't that be awesome ? And us retiring together ? Spending all the happy and sad and sour times together , getting through it all together. No one tearing us apart.
I just can't wait to marry you.
I can't take it.
I really can't take it anymore.
Sometimes, i just want to give up. But i don't. Because, i just love him too much.
I really don't want to give up. But the question is, does he want to give up ?
I really can't handle the pain anymore. All the pain inside me ? All the tears held back ?
I can't take it anymore. No i wont cut myself, but i just want to let it all out.
I really don't want any problems. I really don't. I don't want our relationship to end.
I really don't it to.
I just love you that much.
Sometimes, i just want to give up. But i don't. Because, i just love him too much.
I really don't want to give up. But the question is, does he want to give up ?
I really can't handle the pain anymore. All the pain inside me ? All the tears held back ?
I can't take it anymore. No i wont cut myself, but i just want to let it all out.
I really don't want any problems. I really don't. I don't want our relationship to end.
I really don't it to.
I just love you that much.
I don't know anymore.
I don't what's happening to me.
Sometimes i wonder, am i possessed or something ? Cos i don't feel me anymore.
But sometimes i just want to just disappear. Sometimes, i just want to die.
I guess, life would be happier for people without me in their lives.
Yeah, it will, my parents has one less mouth to feed. My friends, well, i think life would be easier.
I don't know, sometimes, i just want to end it.
But there's one thing stopping me.
It's him.
Sometimes i wonder, am i possessed or something ? Cos i don't feel me anymore.
But sometimes i just want to just disappear. Sometimes, i just want to die.
I guess, life would be happier for people without me in their lives.
Yeah, it will, my parents has one less mouth to feed. My friends, well, i think life would be easier.
I don't know, sometimes, i just want to end it.
But there's one thing stopping me.
It's him.
Remember The GOOD times ?
Remember the good time we had ?
The time where we would always laugh ?
Where there were no problems ?
No tears ?
No heartbreak ?
No fights ?
No problems ?
No almost walking way ?
Where did the good times go ?
The time where we would always laugh ?
Where there were no problems ?
No tears ?
No heartbreak ?
No fights ?
No problems ?
No almost walking way ?
Where did the good times go ?
:/
He almost broke up with me today.
I wanted to cry, again, but i'm holding it back. I don't want to cry when the mother is there.
I can't believe we fought over a game.
I can't say sorry anymore, it's no use. I'll just repeat it again.
But really, sometimes, he can really make me pissed off. I shouldn't have been so angry just now.
But when he said, IT JUST A GAME, it really made me really pissed.
It's just that stupid fighting over a game.
Fighting over the simplest things.
I wanted to cry, again, but i'm holding it back. I don't want to cry when the mother is there.
I can't believe we fought over a game.
I can't say sorry anymore, it's no use. I'll just repeat it again.
But really, sometimes, he can really make me pissed off. I shouldn't have been so angry just now.
But when he said, IT JUST A GAME, it really made me really pissed.
It's just that stupid fighting over a game.
Fighting over the simplest things.
Crap.
Sundays always give me the worst mood swings
I mean like, he wanted this video game. And he asked me to buy it for him, i was like " it's just a game "
and he said " it's NOT JUST a GAME "
Guys and their X-boxes.
Sometimes, i really wonder if their x-box is more important than their girlfriends.
Gosh.
I'm so sorry.
Today, we were like making out and then after that, i randomly slapped him. I mean like i didn't meant it or anything, but it just happened.
I kept saying sorry. But i still felt guilty. Haish, he told me to tell my friend about this. And i was like " i don't need to tell her EVERYTHING ? She's not my confidante "
It wasn't on purpose, it just randomly happen.
I'm so sorry.
I hope he's not angry or anything.
But the thing is making out when the maid is there ? And what if she saw what we were doing ? Wouldn't she tell his mother and eventually tell us to break up ? That's why sometimes I've been pushing him away whenever he makes out with him, when his family members or maid is at home. But if the family members or maid is not with us, i wouldn't mind at all.
i can't believe i hit him until like that.
Haish, I'm so sorry.
I finally found what i'm looking for.
I finally found what i'm looking for.
It's you.
Yeah, i know that its quite early to say this, because im just a teenager. But the thing is,
i truly love you. And you truly love me too. But, i'm really being serious, i truly love you and finally found what i was looking for.
He promised not to leave me. He even proved it with a ring and ask me to marry him when we're old enough.
Awww...
Yeah, after all this time thinking that my ex boyfriends we're The One, in the end they were all just bullshit, i finally found Him.
"We found love in a hopeless place"
It's you.
Yeah, i know that its quite early to say this, because im just a teenager. But the thing is,
i truly love you. And you truly love me too. But, i'm really being serious, i truly love you and finally found what i was looking for.
He promised not to leave me. He even proved it with a ring and ask me to marry him when we're old enough.
Awww...
Yeah, after all this time thinking that my ex boyfriends we're The One, in the end they were all just bullshit, i finally found Him.
"We found love in a hopeless place"
Saturday, 19 November 2011
I love you.
I know that you can't really trust me that much anymore. I'm sorry, last time i didnt trust you but this time it's your turn for you to not trust me. I'm sorry.
But, I know that you will never leave me. I will do anything to build up you trusting me again.
I'm sorry bhyboii. I really am.
But, I know that you will never leave me. I will do anything to build up you trusting me again.
I'm sorry bhyboii. I really am.
Trust.
Do you still trust me like last time ?
I know I made like alot of empty promises like I won't Cause any more problems, but in the end, there would still be problems. I don't know, I was so confident that there won't be anymore problems but I don't no how it happened, problems started again.
Yesterday, I told him again, No more problems okay ? Well, this time I don't know if there would be problems. I really don't know.
Apparently, today we had another Problem that I didn't know that it was actually a problem. It was actually about when we're going to meet my two ex classmates. He said during the movie my other friend(A) would sit by the wall, then me, him and my other friend (B) well the thing is B is like flirty and she even called him cute, infront of me ! Then it's like she kept looking at him, I really dont trust B but I trust him. He thought I was jealous, okay I was abit jealous. But I was only speaking what was on my mind. In my point of view, it was just speaking my mind. But to him, it's a problem.
Haish, I don't know.
I know I made like alot of empty promises like I won't Cause any more problems, but in the end, there would still be problems. I don't know, I was so confident that there won't be anymore problems but I don't no how it happened, problems started again.
Yesterday, I told him again, No more problems okay ? Well, this time I don't know if there would be problems. I really don't know.
Apparently, today we had another Problem that I didn't know that it was actually a problem. It was actually about when we're going to meet my two ex classmates. He said during the movie my other friend(A) would sit by the wall, then me, him and my other friend (B) well the thing is B is like flirty and she even called him cute, infront of me ! Then it's like she kept looking at him, I really dont trust B but I trust him. He thought I was jealous, okay I was abit jealous. But I was only speaking what was on my mind. In my point of view, it was just speaking my mind. But to him, it's a problem.
Haish, I don't know.
Stereo Hearts
Sung by Gym Class Heroes and The Lead singer of Maroon 5.
It's an awesome song about love, of course.
Well, some people like my boyfriend prefers moves like Jagger by maroon five, but personally I prefer stereo hearts. Because to me it has mode meaning.
My favorite part of the song it the bridge. Saying that you should never leave me behind and something like that.
Stereo hearts is one of my favorite songs. But I have heard better.
I know this post is like a review but actually I'm just saying about stereo hearts because just now I was listening to it. And I had nothing better to do.
(:
It's an awesome song about love, of course.
Well, some people like my boyfriend prefers moves like Jagger by maroon five, but personally I prefer stereo hearts. Because to me it has mode meaning.
My favorite part of the song it the bridge. Saying that you should never leave me behind and something like that.
Stereo hearts is one of my favorite songs. But I have heard better.
I know this post is like a review but actually I'm just saying about stereo hearts because just now I was listening to it. And I had nothing better to do.
(:
What i love about you.
I know you ain't perfect.
Nobody is perfect, even i'm not perfect.
You always say i deserve some better than you. But the truth is, do really think i deserve someone better than you ? I don't think i don't. I really don't think so. You know why ? Because, your the only guy who understands what i went through, you made me happy, even my friends say i look happier with you. Don't you think so ?
You're the only guy that i love, no one else. No other guy can replace you.
Boy you're irreplaceable.
Nobody is perfect, even i'm not perfect.
You always say i deserve some better than you. But the truth is, do really think i deserve someone better than you ? I don't think i don't. I really don't think so. You know why ? Because, your the only guy who understands what i went through, you made me happy, even my friends say i look happier with you. Don't you think so ?
You're the only guy that i love, no one else. No other guy can replace you.
Boy you're irreplaceable.
10 days.
He's going back England for Christmas. Well, i was actually hopping to spend it with him. But the thing is that he's going back to England.
Haish, I always wanted to spend my christmas with somebody I love alot. Bit not this year, well, I still have next year.
But the thing is that, ten days is ALOT. If I cant survive with any contact with him for only 3 days, I think I would have gone mad if I didn't see him for 10 days.
Even though he's coming back to Singapore , I should cherish everyday with him.
Haish, ten days >:
Haish, I always wanted to spend my christmas with somebody I love alot. Bit not this year, well, I still have next year.
But the thing is that, ten days is ALOT. If I cant survive with any contact with him for only 3 days, I think I would have gone mad if I didn't see him for 10 days.
Even though he's coming back to Singapore , I should cherish everyday with him.
Haish, ten days >:
Friday, 18 November 2011
Never Give Up
Don't give up on us.
It will just cause heartbreak for me and you. It will cause alot of pain for me and maybe you. I can't get over you if you ever just walk away. You'll just forever remain in my heart. I know no one can replace you in my heart. Because I love you just that much. I just really can't bear to lose you. Trust me, you'll say I deserve a better guy. But the fact is the only guy I love is you. I never loved anybody else but you.
I know girls have feelings for you. But I know that you wont leave me for another girl.
Just don't give up in us okay ?
It will just cause heartbreak for me and you. It will cause alot of pain for me and maybe you. I can't get over you if you ever just walk away. You'll just forever remain in my heart. I know no one can replace you in my heart. Because I love you just that much. I just really can't bear to lose you. Trust me, you'll say I deserve a better guy. But the fact is the only guy I love is you. I never loved anybody else but you.
I know girls have feelings for you. But I know that you wont leave me for another girl.
Just don't give up in us okay ?
He changed me.
I used to be a smoker.
It all started with my ex. He introduced me to smoking. He asked me for a puff, and i stupidly accepted it.
And i continued smoking for 4 months. I was really stupid, i know that it's illegal for me to smoke.
But i eventually stopped smoking smoking.
He helped me to quit.
Actually, because of one of my ex boyfriends i quit smoking, i remembered the date it was 07/07/11
but actually he supported me. But after me and my ex-boyfriend broke up, i found out he still is smoking. At first i was angry, but eventually, i found my real reason for quitting smoking, it was Him. He was the one that i quit smoking, he also used to smoke but now no longer a smoker. He's clean.
Thanks for changing me <3
It all started with my ex. He introduced me to smoking. He asked me for a puff, and i stupidly accepted it.
And i continued smoking for 4 months. I was really stupid, i know that it's illegal for me to smoke.
But i eventually stopped smoking smoking.
He helped me to quit.
Actually, because of one of my ex boyfriends i quit smoking, i remembered the date it was 07/07/11
but actually he supported me. But after me and my ex-boyfriend broke up, i found out he still is smoking. At first i was angry, but eventually, i found my real reason for quitting smoking, it was Him. He was the one that i quit smoking, he also used to smoke but now no longer a smoker. He's clean.
Thanks for changing me <3
Today.
Today, he met my primary school classmates.
Well, there was this china girl. She really has no respect. She looks down on Normal Acad people.
She think she in express very big ? Look down on NA students. Come on, don't tell me people never look down on you. Then she think she is a 'princess' but her face is like so ugly. I've seen prettier.
And he also met my ex P6 form teacher. But it was like kind of awkward for him.
But after some of my ex classmates went, and i went out with my two best friends, my classmate and him, it was alot more fun. We talked about almost anything. It was awesome, he made friends with my friends. It was awesome !
Well, there was this china girl. She really has no respect. She looks down on Normal Acad people.
She think she in express very big ? Look down on NA students. Come on, don't tell me people never look down on you. Then she think she is a 'princess' but her face is like so ugly. I've seen prettier.
And he also met my ex P6 form teacher. But it was like kind of awkward for him.
But after some of my ex classmates went, and i went out with my two best friends, my classmate and him, it was alot more fun. We talked about almost anything. It was awesome, he made friends with my friends. It was awesome !
Yeah i'm not jealous
Finally.
I finally let go of my jealousy problem.
I mean like he just messaged a girl a couple of hours ago. And usually, i would get angry about it. But this time, I wasn't jealous or angry. You know why ? Because i know that he loves me and that he won't leave me for another girl. All i did was, taking a deep breath, and thought that he would never leave me for another girl.
That's all i did. And i didn't get jealous. Wow, that's awesome.
And the vulgarities problem ? About him saying alot of vulgarities ? Well, i finally thought that i also say vulgarities, why can't he ?
Yeah i'm no longer jealous :D
I finally let go of my jealousy problem.
I mean like he just messaged a girl a couple of hours ago. And usually, i would get angry about it. But this time, I wasn't jealous or angry. You know why ? Because i know that he loves me and that he won't leave me for another girl. All i did was, taking a deep breath, and thought that he would never leave me for another girl.
That's all i did. And i didn't get jealous. Wow, that's awesome.
And the vulgarities problem ? About him saying alot of vulgarities ? Well, i finally thought that i also say vulgarities, why can't he ?
Yeah i'm no longer jealous :D
I ain't perfect.
i'm not perfect.
I don't have a rich family. I have a broken family, my sister doesn't care about me. I don't have a mother.
I did alot of bad things in the past, i used to smoke. I wanted to commit suicide a couple of times. My studies aren't good, i didn't know why i was promoted to Express. I did stupid stuff.
Nobody is perfect,
But to my eyes, my boyfriend is perfect to me.
i know what he has gone through, i understand what happened to him. But no matter what kind of person he is,
i will always love him. I know that we have been through alot lately, but no matter what happens, i still love him.
Means i love him unconditionally.
I don't have a rich family. I have a broken family, my sister doesn't care about me. I don't have a mother.
I did alot of bad things in the past, i used to smoke. I wanted to commit suicide a couple of times. My studies aren't good, i didn't know why i was promoted to Express. I did stupid stuff.
Nobody is perfect,
But to my eyes, my boyfriend is perfect to me.
i know what he has gone through, i understand what happened to him. But no matter what kind of person he is,
i will always love him. I know that we have been through alot lately, but no matter what happens, i still love him.
Means i love him unconditionally.
Almost.
Today, i almost broke up with him.
Well, i saw his FB status and it sounds like he wants to break up with me. He nearly did.
But he didn't. Thanks to my friends, they helped him change his mind. But that time when he almost broke up with me, i was crying like i never cried before. I didn't even cried that hard when my mother died ! But, now, we're still together.
He wanted to break up with me because everyday we always have problems. Even the smallest problem can lead to tears. I kept promising him that we won't have any problems...but i the end, we still have those problems. But now, after he ALMOST breaking up with me, i finally woke up. From now on, i would TRY to not cause any problems. I mean like, i'm already sick and tired of fighting and crying. I just want happiness. Not heartbreaks, HAPPINESS.
He gave me another chance, and this time, i finally know what to do.
Well, i saw his FB status and it sounds like he wants to break up with me. He nearly did.
But he didn't. Thanks to my friends, they helped him change his mind. But that time when he almost broke up with me, i was crying like i never cried before. I didn't even cried that hard when my mother died ! But, now, we're still together.
He wanted to break up with me because everyday we always have problems. Even the smallest problem can lead to tears. I kept promising him that we won't have any problems...but i the end, we still have those problems. But now, after he ALMOST breaking up with me, i finally woke up. From now on, i would TRY to not cause any problems. I mean like, i'm already sick and tired of fighting and crying. I just want happiness. Not heartbreaks, HAPPINESS.
He gave me another chance, and this time, i finally know what to do.
Thursday, 17 November 2011
Am I really Your One And Only ?
Okayy, this has been bothering me lately.
Well, I keep on thinking. Whether or not if i'm am really his One and Only. I really don't know, sometimes, i keep thinking that he deserves someone better. Or that, i'm a very lucky girl. I really don't know. Well, even though proved it with a ring, and promised that he would never leave me. Well, who knows ? Who knows if one day, we'll walk away in each other's lives. Well, i don't know. That's why i always cherish every moment with him. In case anything bad happens...
WTF
Yeah, I'm back. Well, i decided that this blog shouldn't be about My problems. I should make this blog bit happier. Well, that's why i changed it to " Love. " Heeh. Its better.
Okay anyways, well. Last night, i've been thinking. And, i SMSed him that we shouldn't see each other for a few days. Well, then i thought " But wouldn't life suck without him around ? " And basically, in the end i told him, to forget it and meet me today.
Well, basically, i couldn't live without him. If he and i were to break up, well, i think i just can't get over it. Yeah, i love him THAT much. And if he would just walk away from my life " Just like the clouds, my eyes will do the same, if you walk away, it would rain. "
You heard of the new song " It will Rain " by bruno Mars ? Well, it's fricking nice. And well, it kind of represents me, for no apparent reason.
Okay anyways, well. Last night, i've been thinking. And, i SMSed him that we shouldn't see each other for a few days. Well, then i thought " But wouldn't life suck without him around ? " And basically, in the end i told him, to forget it and meet me today.
Well, basically, i couldn't live without him. If he and i were to break up, well, i think i just can't get over it. Yeah, i love him THAT much. And if he would just walk away from my life " Just like the clouds, my eyes will do the same, if you walk away, it would rain. "
You heard of the new song " It will Rain " by bruno Mars ? Well, it's fricking nice. And well, it kind of represents me, for no apparent reason.
Wednesday, 16 November 2011
It Will Rain, Bruno Mars
If you ever leave me, baby,
Leave some morphine at my door
'Cause it would take a whole lot of medication
To realize what we used to have,
We don't have it anymore.
There's no religion that could save me
No matter how long my knees are on the floor
So keep in mind all the sacrifices I'm makin'
To keep you by my side
To keep you from walkin' out the door.
'Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same, if you walk away
Everyday, it'll rain, rain, rain
I'll never be your mother's favorite
Your daddy can't even look me in the eye
Ooh, if I was in their shoes, I'd be doing the same thing
Sayin' "There goes my little girl
Walkin' with that troublesome guy"
But they're just afraid of something they can't understand
Ooh, but little darlin' watch me change their minds
Yeah for you I'll try I'll try I'll try
I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding
If that'll make you mine
'Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same, if you walk away
Everyday, it'll rain, rain, rain.
Don't just say,
Goodbye, don't just say, goodbye
I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding
If that'll make it right
'Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same, if you walk away
Everyday, it'll rain, rain, rain
Leave some morphine at my door
'Cause it would take a whole lot of medication
To realize what we used to have,
We don't have it anymore.
There's no religion that could save me
No matter how long my knees are on the floor
So keep in mind all the sacrifices I'm makin'
To keep you by my side
To keep you from walkin' out the door.
'Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same, if you walk away
Everyday, it'll rain, rain, rain
I'll never be your mother's favorite
Your daddy can't even look me in the eye
Ooh, if I was in their shoes, I'd be doing the same thing
Sayin' "There goes my little girl
Walkin' with that troublesome guy"
But they're just afraid of something they can't understand
Ooh, but little darlin' watch me change their minds
Yeah for you I'll try I'll try I'll try
I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding
If that'll make you mine
'Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same, if you walk away
Everyday, it'll rain, rain, rain.
Don't just say,
Goodbye, don't just say, goodbye
I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding
If that'll make it right
'Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same, if you walk away
Everyday, it'll rain, rain, rain
Don't talk about your ex-girlfirends...please ?
I hate it when he talks about his ex-girlfriends.
You know why ? Well, its because, i'm his girlfriend. And sometimes, he would tell me about his ex-girlfriends.
It's like, somehow, deep inside of me, i feel like he has some feelings for them. I don't know. But whenever he talks about them, its like...it's like...he still have feelings for them i don't know.
I'm just very insecure, because of all the heartbreak i had. I have met with Mr Player, Mr Flirter and Mr I don't care about you anymore. I just don't want to have anymore heartbreak. I mean like my current boyfriend, he replaced someone in my heart. And he helped me get over my ex-boyfriends. He even helped me quit my bad habit.
But the thing is, i really don't know if he still have feelings for another girl. I wished, i can trust him. I really want to, but it's just...i cant...That's the problem.
Even after i went Couple Counselling with him at school, after talking about our issues, i still really cannot trust him in some stuff ( i don't know what stuff, but sometimes, i just suddenly cannot trust him ). Even after, he promised not to lie to me anymore, it's just that i still can't trust him 100% anymore. But i'm trying to trust him fully again.
i know one day i can trust him fully again.
He says...
Okay, the thing is i hate it when girls message him. Especially the girls who have feeling for him. It's like, even though they're his friends or good friends, isn't he like encourage them to continuing liking him. Like he wants them to wait for him ? I don't know. But it's really bothering me. He says that he will TRY to not reply their messages. Don't you guys think i'm going abit overboard ? Not allowing to message other girls ? Don't you think so ?
Well, i do.
My First Entry.
Okay so this is my first entry. Well, this blog is about my jealousy. See, i have this boyfriend whom i love alot. We both trust each other in everything. Well, but i got this problem. My boyfriend, well, last time he was a flirt. He used to ask random girls for stead. But now, when he stead with me, it's like he's no longer a flirt. He no longer ask random girls for stead, but the thing is. I still can't trust him in this kind of things.
Like, whenever there's a cute girl around, he would look at them, sometimes he would even stare at them. It's like, someone random day, there's gonna be a girl who's going to take him away from me. And whenever i catch him looking at girls, i would always suddenly keep quiet. Trying not to cry. He knows about this problem. He would always say ' Im never going to leave you '. But what if he did leave me ? Even though he promised not to ? Sometimes promises are meant to be broken. Are they ?
Like, whenever there's a cute girl around, he would look at them, sometimes he would even stare at them. It's like, someone random day, there's gonna be a girl who's going to take him away from me. And whenever i catch him looking at girls, i would always suddenly keep quiet. Trying not to cry. He knows about this problem. He would always say ' Im never going to leave you '. But what if he did leave me ? Even though he promised not to ? Sometimes promises are meant to be broken. Are they ?
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