Honestly.

Today was really fucked-up.

It started with him punching his parents. Honestly, i don't like people punching their parents.
I really get fucking pissed. I told him he should'nt have done that. Because it's just fucking wrong.
Then it lead to fight and tears. I cried in public. And nobody was there for me. I got no one to turn to. I just wanted to get of the bus and never returned. I wanted to see if they actually cared. Cause, at that time, i felt totally left out. He was talking to my friend, and i was just there listening. Like i was invisible or something. Like i didn't exist. A few days ago, i was like being disturb by my friend, he was spitting ice. And that time, i didn't got the mood to be disturb. And i was looking at my boyf if he notice at all and if he would do anything. But he didn't. Instead, he just continued talking to my friend. Like NOTHING actually happen.
I was totally sad, and i started to become like all quiet. I just kept drinking my iced passionfruit. I kept looking down, i did'nt want hi to look into my eyes, and i will start to cry.
Then, he started to act all emo. He said, he doesn't understand girls. Does he understand me ? Because i'm a girl. And he just wanted to give up. At that moment, my heart just avhe and tears just started to fall. I just ran away. I hid in the stairs, hoping someone will start looking for me. And when someone found me, he would see my cry and just stand there hugging my tight. But, unfortunately, i didn't happen. I just stood there, waiting. Waiting for someone to come and find me. But no one came. I went out, and i saw him and my friend walking away. Like they didn't notice that i was actually gone or that they didn't care at all. I wanted to walk another way, but my friend saw me. And on the bus, on the way to work. It was like he was fucking pissed at me. Because, i gave him too much problems. Yes, i'm always the one starting the problems. It's always my fault. I'm totally fucked-up. He was like totally angry at me, and my friend told me to apologise to him. Most of the times, i'm always the first one to apologize after every fight, followed by him. Because it's my fault. It's true, i'm the girl with issues, and i get jealous easily. I'm totally fucked-up. I'm the one who always give headaches. After saying sorry to him in the bus, we were okay. But, today, same thing happen again. But it was like kind of worse.
He kept ignoring me, and my friend and him we're messaging about me, something bad. And inside, i was just crying. I was crying in the inside. I was biting my teeth so hard because if not, i would have just broke down. My heart literally ached. It hurt. Then, when i received one of his sad messages, i totally broke down in the bus. I just wanted to runaway, runaway from all this. Nobody, cared. i think, nobody even saw me cry. Nobody heard my cry. I was all alone. Blasting music was helping trying to calm down. Blasting sad songs. My boyf then shifted to another seat, because he was angry, at me. He wanted to give up. He always say that. It always stabs my heart a couple of million times. I never got this heartbroken. I would always cry every night when reading your messages when we fight. It's how heartbreaking it is.